Replacing Isolation With Connection

Grant faced challenges due to mental health struggles and neurodevelopment diagnoses. He turned to drugs to cope and things began to go downhill from there. He lost his stable friend group and started falling in with the wrong people.

He stopped focusing on college or moving forward, and then it continued when he got back into drinking. “I was using one substance to deal with another.” He quit doing the activities he used to enjoy such as mountain biking and would spend his time smoking weed, watching shows, and eating food. Then, it became more extreme as it turned to sitting in his apartment all day, doing hard drugs, peeking out the blinds with paranoia.

Grant was connected with Brian, the Crisis Services Manager, who has become a strong mentor in his life. Reflecting on his own past, Brian shared his insights on the struggle with addiction. “We become like the people we hang out with. The compromising of morals is a gradual thing. It’s not like one day you’re five-years-old and you steal a candy bar and then the next thing is a car. The more and more you do it, the more grandiose the situation. Drugs are the same way. It’s a gradual thing, but over time your morality suffers. It’s a lot easier to use then address the issues why you’re using in the first place. Drug use is such a cheat because it takes away from developing coping skills in one’s life. I sometimes think at night about my old life, substance abuse, and how much I suffered. Anytime I didn’t have drugs, I would feel horribly ill. I would spend over half the year sick because I didn’t have enough money to sustain my habit.”

“It goes from taking drugs to deal with your problem, to taking them to escape the repercussions of using them. The things you have to do to get the money to fuel your addiction are often degrading, mean, and hurt innocent people. Then, you sober up and it hits you now that you are able to think clearly. You wake up and have all these memories of the bad that happened. It’s a challenge, and I need to remember that I’ve been forgiven–that I’m a new creation in Christ. Otherwise, those haunting things come back.

“Hedonism led me to nihilism. I was broken, depressed, strung out and obviously that’s not God’s design for people. I always think of addiction as being like a drop of ink that is put into a vial of water then disperses all throughout. It’s hard to cut those things out of your life.”

Restoration & Recovery

Grant shares that this mentorship relationship has been invaluable in staying aligned with his goals.

“With Brian, I can always be honest and it holds me accountable. If I mess up he can talk me through it. In a program, if you divulge that you have used, you’re penalized for it. If you want to be honest and want to talk through it, it’s hard enough to say it to someone who’s rooting for you. But if you think you’ll be in trouble, you’re more inclined to lie. This holds you accountable for yourself. Someone has to want it for themselves.”

“I always feel better after I leave and it helps me stay aligned with my goals. If I start going in a bad direction, I can talk about it and have a goal or something to work on. We do our Restoration & Recovery groups. It’s a pretty small group, so it’s easy to talk and feel comfortable. I really like having a positively-focused group.”

Grant’s mentor, Brian, shares that, “some of the topics we have, they can be vulnerable, but you don’t have to answer any questions that hit too close to home. With a smaller group, you can get to know people more. We share about challenges/trials, hope, mental health, conflict, friendships/family, etc.”

Grant shares that, “It’s helped me fix my relationship with my family. Things were really rough, especially with the criminal charges and drug abuse. Coming here and having help, and being in a better state of mind coming back to my family, has helped a lot. Having a positive influence around me has been very big–seeing that there is a possibility for success. Knowing my mentor’s backstory is a big inspiration–to see someone even worse off than I was now helping me out is really big for me; seeing you can go full circle and help others is so encouraging.”

Having the support and someone to talk to has helped Grant process his thoughts, provided a safe space to share, and held him accountable. Grant expressed that, “after group meetings, I’m a lot calmer. We usually share a prayer together, and then I can go back to my family and have a better relationship.”

Brian often sees himself in the lives of young adults he works with. “Grant’s much like I was at his age. Seeing some of the choices he’s made and some of the things he’s struggling with, resonate with me. I don’t want to see him suffer in the same ways I have. He is his own man, but I can sometimes see what’s going through his mind.”

“If you have a baseball and are holding it in front of your eye, it will blot out the sun. The baseball is like your problems, it blocks out everything. We don’t realize how blessed we are just to have clean water or get an EBT card or go to a food bank. The smallest problems can eclipse our heart,” Brian reflects.

Hope Is Possible For Youth

Grant is hopeful for his future. “I hope I can keep moving in a good direction and become more independent. I want to move on with my life, because I’ve been put on hold for awhile. I want to work on pursuing a career and having my own family in the future. I want to live a life that I’m proud of and get real satisfaction from. I want to choose positive activities instead of quick fixes.”

If he could say something to his younger self, “he would tell himself to stop being so hard on himself and try to work towards bettering himself instead of being negative. Being negative all the time just made my problems worse. It’s good to keep yourself accountable, but focus on the positive things and aim yourself in that direction instead of trying to crawl out of a pit you’re slowly crawling into.”

Grant would like to express his thanks to the supporters who have made it possible for him to build relationships with positive mentors.

“The community outreach, and the fact that Coffee Oasis came to me, was such a big thing. Rachel didn’t have to go into the Kitsap County jail. It’s probably not pleasant with people screaming and in the worst parts of the jail. Anything that supports Coffee Oasis is being put to good use.”

Story Written by: Caryn Wright //  Date Written: February 5, 2025