Instability of Frequent Moves
Alejandro’s parents were teenagers when they moved from Mexico to the United States. However, he doesn’t remember much of life with his parents together–they separated when he was in 1st grade. After their separation, Alejandro, his mom, and three sisters moved from California to Washington, then frequently found themselves moving in order for his mom to find work. “It was really hard on me. I hated it. I remember asking my mom: ‘Can we not move around anymore? I’m tired of meeting new friends.’ ” At times they were even homeless—staying in a car or couch surfing wherever they could find a place to stay. “At one point, my mom couldn’t take care of us, so we went to Mexico to live with my grandma.”
Alejandro remembers his time in Mexico as especially challenging. He couldn’t speak Spanish well since his parents had always been trying to practice English around their home. He was discriminated against by teachers. “My math teacher didn’t like me because he thought of me as American.” This only lasted about a year before he moved in with his dad and grandparents in California.
Peer Pressure & Challenges
During his middle school and high school years, he found himself struggling. “I was a troublemaker. My sister’s friends weren’t that good. They influenced her and influenced me. I got into weed and drugs. I fell for the peer pressure.” This escalated through his high school years, and he spent time in and out of juvenile detention. Alejandro recounts one incident, “On the first day of senior year, I was really high and walked up to a security guard and asked where my classes were. He saw my eyes were really red and sent me to the office. Then the police came. I had a bad record.”
During his senior year, he remembers feeling especially sad about disappointing his grandpa. “My grandpa was there one day when the police dropped me off. He pulled out his green papers. I didn’t want him to see me, so I just left. It was hard for me to see my grandpa like that. I felt bad disappointing him.”
Finding a Place to Belong at The Coffee Oasis
After high school, he made his way to Silverdale to stay with his mom and her boyfriend and spent some time couch surfing. “In 2019, I had a panic attack. I was at my lowest. I wasn’t working. I was breaking things. The police and firefighters showed up. I remember saying I don’t have a name. I don’t know what day it is. I didn’t remember anything. I kept telling them I was a little kid.” Through Kitsap Mental Health, he began receiving help for his mental health and made some friends who told him about The Coffee Oasis. “They kept inviting me to come.”
At first, he was hesitant to go, but eventually he gave it a try. Last summer, out at the park, Alejandro especially connected with one staff member at The Coffee Oasis…
“Katrina really helped me out a lot. She helped me with self-care. She was always there for me. We talked about goals and stuff.”
One of his first goals was to learn how to follow up after sending in a resume. “She helped me write a script and we would practice. Then I started freestyling and getting more comfortable with it.” His current goal now is to find and maintain a stable job–he would like to get a job at the shipyard. “There’s a martial arts studio around here and I want to get into that. Once I get a job, I’m going to try to go there. I also want to learn Spanish, because my Spanish isn’t really that good.”
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